Uggggg i want to leave and get bombed over baghdad
I fell asleep on the toilet again last night...
Just ran to the store on my way to the office to buy Diet Coke...the guy in front of me let me cut because it was 4 more minutes until 8am, so he wouldn't be able to purchase his vodka. I love Wisconsin
You admitted to me in secrecy that you want to jerk off a unicorn.
A homeless guy asked you to feel your boobs, you accepted in exchange for his broom to go with your witch costume..... that's when I cut you off
I just realized this is gonna be the last time that I'm high in my childhood home. I'm kinda sad. I'm really high..
Walk of Shame'd halfway down a mountain, skiiers passing. Do not drink with lifties at the end of ski season.
Omg he's telling my parents stories about him doing jaagerbombs ... Lord help me
Fell asleep on the Grass at Lolla woke up in the Brown line. What. The. Fuck.
2000 dollars has been put in for bail money. Also we're signing contracts
I love her to death but its like you have to do 5 lines of coke to be on her level.
He told me he felt like he was just pistol-whipped by Testicle Man.
didn't prepare for this snow storm at all. i only have like 6 beer and all my booty calls already went home for the holiday. this is bull.
So last night, I bought mother's day cards and the Plan B pill.
I feel like that xmas present negates everything we were taught as little girls. Putting out DOES pay. God bless us everyone
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