just woke up and he was jacking off in the corner.. am i being punked?
she has no idea who harrison ford is.
see that's why i'd never date someone born in the 90s
Sacagawea was the original milf.
Just hide your weed in your baby brothers shirt. TSA wont check a baby, thats fucked up
Like if god were to send me a cock shot, that's what it would look like.
Periouds do not concern me. Biploogival needs are buological needs.
She woke me up with an urgent call telling me she was rolling on Mollie and swimming in the ocean. I mean that's just great. If she drowns, I'll feel responsible.
i did nothiing wrong other than not tell that kid his whole back was covered in puke
I cunt my lip shaving. That's not a typo, it's a placement clue
there's cocaine on the ipad again........... was your sister here last night?
I'm a great relationship counselor. My vagina will let you know if your relationship is gonna work or not.
You don't usually get feedback after a one night stand... But you hit it out of the park. I'm proud to call you a friend.
My hookup from last weekend apparently got arrested today... his roommate just tagged me on facebook asking for bail money.
EVEN AFTER ALL THAT COMPLAINING... STILL NO PENIS
I am witnessing a blind guy whip ass at beer pong
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