guess who just trotted in eating her oats and wagging her penis
Looks like I will be paying for the roofie I slipped myself in 9 months.
Im rethinking drunk tuesdays. Also rethinking ovaries.
omg my older sister has been googling "how do I know if I've had an orgasm?" and "bj tips". the family laptop is not meant for this...
i realized i had a pad on before i went to this guys house so i stuck it in his neighbors shrub.
At what point last night did I start ordering doubles?
Right after we had the just friends talk..
I asked for a steak knife but the waitress could see in my eyes it was a bad idea
I just creeped on air mattress guy's facebook and discovered his ex is the trifecta of evil: tiny, cute, and blonde.
I'm not sure whom I'm texting but I put you in my phone as last nights fuck budy, and I'm just curious if I left my clutch with you?
We ended up at a lesbian bar and all my co-workers tried to get me laid. This is not how I envisioned coming out.
He also complimented my butt. High praise coming from a boob guy.
I'm glad there seems to be a general consensus regarding your ass
Bro i pulled the fucking willy wonkas gold ticket of ratchets the other night this chick was a real treat god bless her
Hey, it's Valentine's Day weekend and were single and off our periods. Let's live like queens.
I broke another vibrator the other day. Abstinence is not for me.
The work outs are working. Someone just said my body type was “Tits On A Stick”.
Randomize
