so stoned i ashed in my jack and coke like 4 times. drinking it anyway
Too late, the blunt's already in my cleavage
did you know that snuggie is the perfect anti-freak out aid for stoners? it weighs you down so you can't go anywhere. just sit there and enjoy the movie, that's right.
Just did a line with lance bass. Only in NY
Swear to god this chicks brother got let out of jail for the weekend for the sole purpose of cock blocking me
Just finished putting caution tape around the tv. Sober me needs to prepare.
It's just like riding a bike. Only it's a dude's face.
If you value my life, if you value your own, please look for that godforsaken cookie. Please.
Apparently i asked the cab driver how much the ride was going to cost, (he said about $25) then i offered him 50 to let me drive the cab...
I accidentally KO'd a baby in the airport. Thought you should know.
Would your heart desire to drink copious amounts of alcohol tonight?
I've justified worse with less. I had sex with your brother because he was wearing a nice sweater
I just realized I donated our bong to goodwill.. RIP Kimbo Slice
You suck, She hit so hard.
orgy was averted by karaoke, thank god
Stopping for a booty call on the way to a lunch date... Bad form?
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