there is no way i'm buying plan b and condoms at the same time
no do it! it shows that you acknowledge your mistakes and you are proactively working towards a solution.
You've got more to offer than just money. Come on. You have an awesome rack.
Were taking his cast off tonite. Need a saw and a gameplan. Meet us at rosies in 30.
Oh and you pulled your pants down outside in front of like five people, held my hand, then peed.
Buying a large dominoes pizza for a wasted 3 mile walk is the best bad idea ever. My mouth is on fire, probably broke my hand, and i may or may not have eaten street pizza.
How did you break your hand eating pizza?
Boxes are hard to see rocks through.
I'd be there a lot sooner if these damn stairs would stop moving.
I'm really really gonna try not to at least one night. The 4 day thanksgiving bender almost killed me last year
Now that I'm single, I like to think of myself as in a relationship with Taco Bell.
is it bad that my walk of shame involves the church shuttle?
Tell Taylor to rock on. Tell her she is so beautiful that the sun shines down on her face and shows her beauty. Tell her to live on, like Martin Luther King. He'll never die. He's living his dreams.
Walk of shame dressed as a Christmas tree, it happened. Ho ho ho bitches
I had a 10 minute conversation with the refrigerator, it was telling me how it likes to be opened and closed. Ecstasy, I love you.
I hate drunk me more than anyone else in this world
you said "i met the love of my life tonight" and i said "me?" and you said "no, hummus"
If she gets mad at me, that only means more free time for me. I like to put myself I win win situations. Despite being in a relationship, I still find ways to accomplish my goals.
Randomize
