i have your red jacket for some reason. and a good deal of shame and embarasment. note to self, wear underwear when you wear a dress. also, i was electrocuted last night. dont ask how.
every time i send "do you want some cock" to her T9 manages to change it to "anal"...i think she's mad now
I love him more than I love myself. Which is a lot...Because I'm narcissistic.
A kid wearing a Batman belt buckle in my psych class just asked how people get pee fetishes. I'm too high for this.
I'm going to have to call in sick tomorrow. After this weekend, there's no way I can handle hearing the accountants talk about double entry without puking.
I thought short asians scared me, however seeing my first tall asian I'm terrified.
He just brought me a wine glass. Full of Tequila. Ignore any texts after this one.
apparently 20 random guys watched the process of me being carried on a mattress through the dorms
I made him recite stats from the playoffs game last night before I would go down on him.
We're drinking vodka. Wine is for people who have to wake up in the morning.
DOGS JUST TOTALLY ATE THE FEATHERS OFF MY NIPPLE CLAMPS!!!
I hate him but I love him for what he does which is me
my grocery list today consisted of condoms. and butter.
umm... whats the butter for?
Sometimes, it’s important to take a moment and kinkshame yourself.
I threw a lamp at you?
Yes, yes you did.
Awesome
Randomize
