Ooooh. That's not a mole. Uncomfortable.
The solution to mudbutt is never ever Clorox wipes. It stings soooooooo bad.
I know I'm not learning anything when I can't even spell the name of the class I'm taking
after I pulled back my foreskin she said, "cool like a transformer". I really like her now.
I just got cut off for correcting the bartender's grammar. I should have never accepted that fucking editors position.
Just finished texting the 27th male name in my phone that i don't recognize. none of them were the hott kid i made out with last night. the search continues.
Maybe I should forgo underwear.
This is a family BBQ no?
Even the paramedic said "what a way to kill a party"
Your dress got me laid by one of Obama's Secret Service members. Patriotic duty, check.
We decided it was acceptable to walk out of class on a quest for Doritos. That high.
tom claimed she had a star tattooed around her buttonhole. i am not prepared for this era of skankyness
Friends don't let friends go vibrator shopping alone.
I NEED A MOM FRIEND. NOW.
The Olympian is in my bed
she is legit trying to fuck me to death between her and work i haven't slept in 3 days and have at least 16 hours to go before sleep is a possibility. can i crash at your place she doesnt know where you live
Randomize
