i need a penis for penetration, you wont do.
oh yeah... my b.
I woke up this morning and the first thing i saw was the harry potter tattoo on his left butt cheek.
i'm going through the NYU 2014 group looking for future drunken hookups. too slutty?
did you know that snuggie is the perfect anti-freak out aid for stoners? it weighs you down so you can't go anywhere. just sit there and enjoy the movie, that's right.
Lost gin update. Blackout me found and re-hid the bottle. Left a note to myself saying, "GOOD LUCK, SUCKER!"
I just pull a splinter from the head of my penis. It was a rough night.
I just want you to know that I hid the weed. Once you find another job, I'll tell you where it is. Happy Hunting, bro.
Awkward family moment #1: walked in on my 15 yr old nephew packing a bowl. Nephew says- "lets not ruin christmas and keep this our little secret"
Thanks for bailing me out last night guys. it's bullshit that everbeering people at bars is illegal. bitches have no sense of adventure anymore
I also like to call Halloween "Mystery Fuck Day"
Don't matter if she's straight, I'll get her. I'm not called The Transformer for nothing
What's clit gel and why is it in my wallet.
Holy shit my cat won't leave the lube alone
You're the air beneath my wings and the lookout when I pee
Oral stamina is what keeps life exciting
Randomize
