Dear __, it'd be a lot easier to fuck if you ever responded. So I'm throwing in the white towel, since I no longer know what you want. Sincerely, ___
Definitely locked eyes with the stripper who gave me a lapdance last night as she walked by me and into the Ann Taylor Loft in Times Square.
They need to add a relationship status option on fb that says "having the baby of..."
After the sixth shot I started to slur my pauses.
Isn't that the only thing she's good at? Complaining and blow jobs?
she peed. on the sidewalk. it is 2 pm. Help.
Stop selling my mother weed! She's annoying as hell when she's stoned.
No you can't have a vodka redbull. The pilgrims didn't have vodka redbull.
Second day of summer classes and i already got this girl to send me nudes during class
that is WHY your in summer classes
worth it
thanks for the bloody nose. you probably dont remember, i'm not mad.. only because your boobs are to blame
Even though we had just had to physically take her off of someones lawn she was peeing on when they came outside, she still insisted on walking unassisted the rest of the way home. It was dignity meets shit show.
I don't know what's more sad. The fact that I'm genuinely impressed about being sober for a whole 3 days or the fact that I want to get wasted in celebration.
In my next life I better get to be a bird. Fuck flying. I'm gonna shit on your car. Every. Day.
He yanked my breathe right strip off in the middle of me riding him.
Want to sleep. Also want to see Alex on MDMA doing really stupid shit. Choices...
Randomize
