I woke up this morning and I couldn't find my coffeetable. wtf?
Whoever said drinking more helps a hangover didn't drink 96% of a fifth of whiskey last night. This is absurd.
I walked downstairs and he was standing in nothing but his boxers with his dick hanging out warming up eggs in the microwave.
careful of the bathroom.... theres some drunken ninja turtles in there....
Call me when you get up. This hang-over is like dismantling a bomb: I need someone to talk me through it.
NEW INFORMATION meech found me passed out on a bench outside.
No, we got so into acting out our role play characters we didn't even fuck. still sucess.
Who would've thought that Monopoly night would've ended with some girl peeing on the couch.
I woke up with $140 in twenties in my bra and have never been more puzzled.
Haha ohman remember when I peed in your blender? Gotta love college.
YOU DID WHAT???
He sent me a slow motion video of him jerking off...it was so long (the video not his dick) even I felt awkward watching it alone
I woke up knowing I have nowhere to be today except parties and it was glorious and I am so happy
I've been really sick the past 4 days. Last night, I actually turned down a bj. I may be dying.
I think I'd rather see her get hit by a car in one of those Russian dash cam videos on YouTube.
I don't want to be drunk any more. Can you hit the off switch?
Randomize
