these pics are all outta focus - was this what the camera saw? or what your eyes saw?
Mom's drinking. Just asked her if she was good to walk back to the condo. She seemed unsure until she remembered she brought the GPS. We are 2 blocks from the condo.
I never thought to pass out in a hotel lobby rather then paying for a hotel room until you taught me that's acceptable at the Hilton
I was asking the bouncer, "if I fall will you catch me?" which then turned into "if I jump off the roof will you catch me?" He said no.
the campus cop used the word depravity in our citation.
Um yeah. I just puked. And found your contact.
but im not going to tell the owner of the penis of my dreams how to wear his hair.
PS: I just woke up from my shower
I taped a pair of scissors and a coupon for a waxing on the door. He gets to choose.
This stupid maranara sauce stain sucks. It keeps distracting me and it looks like I'm staring at my tits.
My greatest achievement in life thus far is being the go to friend when you have questions about butt plugs.
I can't believe you won 5 grand from the casio last night and spent more than 80% on tacobell and strippers already
Fuck me I smell like cheese
sex on a bike is impossible
challenge accepted
You drank whiskey for 9 hours and did not eat anything.Nothing good was going to come from that.
Randomize
