Grow some girl-balls and come out already
I blew a .224 after sleeping for 6 hrs, cleary im a champion
Note to self: never go down on a girl first thing in the morning…its like opening a grilled cheese sandwich
god, you should never be in the FBI. you'd give away america's secrets to any boy who asked.
OMG! Someone dumped chocolate soft-serve in the bathroom! Dibs!
Somebody spraypainted a transformers head on a transformer box..my life is complete
I just introduced him to multiple male orgasms. I love wine AND tequila
he climbed up to our party on the 2nd floor balcony and then pulled a glass mug and a beer from his knapsack. these freshmen are intense
You should get with him and swear you have to use lambskin condoms. That'll test his veganism.
got woken up at 7:30 by a drunk girl asking me where she was... apparently she slept on my futon
she was in a cheetah costume
Sadness tears and throw up everywhere
I gave the naked guy in the hotel a pop tart. He stopped crying.
I'm taking a pole dancing class this morning. Can I put you down as my emergency contact? I'm NOT putting my mother
I'm glad our friendship can withstand laughing mid-blowjob during the diarrhea scene in Dumb & Dumber.
I passed out in my bed, but woke up on the dog bed,with no pants, snuggling with toilet paper and a bottle of softsoap. Ive hit a new low.
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