i'm pissing behind 7/11. if you guys leave... i'll think it's funny too
so all night Ive been that girl with her tits out @ the bar. I mean I dropped jaws, yo. But in a classy way.
I'm pretty sure there is a country song about this exact situation
Get the fuck buddy a birthday present or not? He def deserves one, but how do I explain the debit card charge to my husband?
I want to punch and suck your dick at the same time. I don't think we have the healthiest of relationships.
wanna go with us to feed the ducks bread soaked in vodka?
how could i say no?
there's a sledge hammer in the bottom of the swimming pool... so whatever happened last night was probably awesome
I might scale it back and go as an investment banker. Which is the exact same costume as James Bond on LSD. I just introduce myself differently.
He's currently surrounded by roughly 23 girls he fucked and never called. He may not make it out of here. Bar of doom? Or of redemption?
If you don't get head tonight I will castrate you
Seriously. Castrate.
fucked a girl in Bentley hall at ten tonight, came on the carpet and I plan on doing it in another building soon. Watch where you walk
I'm not entirely sure how getting 'house drunk' turned into us getting trashed, being serenaded by karaoke and going out. But it needs to happen again.
You know how I know she's ugly? 97% of her profile pics are flowers or animals. And what do we know about pretty people and the Internet?
do i respond to the booty call for the guy with the bigger dick or the one who has the gourmet coffee i like so much? at this point i'm leading toward the coffee
A real best friend would support the hoe in me. Not remind me of what happened the last time I slept with a boss
Randomize
