9 am. shotgunning while conditioning my hair. i love college football season.
im naked on webcam to her boyfriend, but im playing neopets at the same time, so its all evened out
Just saw a motorized bathtub. I think this college thing is gonna work out.
Never ever ever ever ever ever give your number to a 30 year old at buffalo wild wings. Ever ever ever.
New drinking game. Every time Romney and Santorum switch leads, take a shot.
....this is what your political science major is getting you?
I told him he was probably the first guy to get fucked while wearing Star Wars pyjamas.
Just Everbombed a Guiness to make up for cutting out early last night. Also the Mars probe. Happy birthday motherfucker!
weekly advice from mom, "Drink vodka, it las hess calories"
Ordained minister or not I hereby renounce all moral responsibility for any and all related occurrences
I'm gonna have to kick a girl scouts ass...
I wouldn't be able to live with myself if I blew a Trump supporter.
Fuck you i've put so many pretzels in her shirt
Good morning 7am walk of shame. It's been awhile.
It's National Whipped Cream Day, prep those nips
try to milk me bitch
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