She was drunk and kept trying to talk while I was in her mouth. It sounded like the teacher from a Charlie Brown cartoon!
Come on the kid is gayer than me
Like the straightest thing he could do right now is take it up the butt
you know how i said i wouldn't send that pic message of your lofted bed falling from you fucking a fat chick? that was after i sent it to your mom
I'm on a cruise to the Bahamas and this text message is gunna cost me $10 but I need you to pray on my behalf for the things I'm about to do these 2 girls and what I did last night to a 35 year old mother of 3.
My girlfriend and my fuck buddy both started their periods this weekend. The good news is, neither of them are pregnant. The bad news is, I'll have to find someone else to fuck til next weekend. No wait.....that's good news too.
she fell through a window trying to flash someone
Ok roommate is officially weird. Just watched her microwave the same broccoli 3 times in a row and cry b/c she fucked it up. Wtf lol
Back. Waiting on Thong the shuttle bus driver. THONG
Sneezing cum all over the table was not the highlight of the family reunion if that tells you anything
did I ever tell you about my gay jesus theory?
That's not the problem. The problem is I thought I was over him but he smells nice today.
Some girls wake up to good morning texts. I wake up to pictures of an angry Shrek getting a blowjob.
So was this before or after he cried about trump?
After
Legal advice please. Can you sue someone for jerking off to photos of you?
long story short... we may or may not have lost your car.
Randomize
