Your an asshole
Actually, it's "you're an asshole"
My point exactly
we need blinds so i can safely watch porn during the day
its officail im naming my first born child brickbreaker
You drunk yet?
Nope. Give me two hours then delete my texts before you read them.
Cant make any promises.
It sucks..Now I'm depressed because appearence wise, she's the closest to my favorite pornstar I'll ever get..
we woke up to him feeding us cheetos at 3am. and by feeding i mean shoving them in our mouths and saying "i mean who doesn't like cheetos"
New level of stoned. My Terry's Chocolate Orange didn't 'whack-and-unwrap' so I ate it like an apple.
He says he won't get serious until he screws an Asian and a virgin. I should just place an ad on Craig's List
Wanted: female 18-24 of Asian or partial Asian descent to fuck my ginger boyfriend. Must be willing and able to fake virginity. No emotional connection needed, just sex, just once. Further contact post sex not needed (or particularly desired)
So the guy who is making our IDs is in jail now for attempted murder, with no bail...
So no fakes?
He's German, so by default he gets to fuck me.
They were so huge my eyes were just drawn to them. Boob gravity man.
It was technically 11... But I go by McDonald's time, if they aren't servin breakfast, it's the afternoon. Therefore I can drink
new dating motto: let your guard down, not your panties
I don't care who you bring as long as they are fun and not a cop
She pulled out a water gun filled with vodka and called it her weapon of choice tonight. She's fine.
Randomize
