Dude, I don't think I'll ever be able to find a girl for me...
Is this the gay conversation?
New all-time record for most uncomfortable I've ever been. A midget just asked me to restrap his fanny pack in the bathroom.
felt a little awkward waiting for my McNuggets after vomiting all over the counter
I'm guessing "whatever I can get" wasn't the reply the nurse wanted when asking what med I need. Oh, and asked for a cartoon band-aid.
The drunk teletubby stumbling out of the place tipped me off..
She tried to ditch the cab before she payed but she forgot to grab her shoes and wake me up
I lost a little respect for your boyfriend when I learned that he has a scar from a Cheerio.
i passed out twice in the shower, twice on the bathroom floor, once holding the toilet bowl and 8 times moving from the bathroom to my bed. Tequila sucks.
5% want to drink juice and feel better, 95% just want to touch your butt
She left you responsible for her guinea pig for what, 3 hours? And it somehow died under your care? I will no longer trust you with so much as a beer.
Why do I like him? He literally has no redeeming qualities.
He also needs to focus on not being such a little bitch, but that's none of my business.
I doubt the gods of funday Sunday would exact such a high price... But it's good to know an afternoon with me is worth a left foot.
I was eating pickles straight from a jar, contemplating doing something productive. What did I miss?
she peed her pants, took them off, the put them back on. but she only put her legs in one hole.
Randomize
