I miss him.. What the hell did I get myself in to? I guess it will get better with time.
No. Just liquor. Time's no good.
it was like eating out sand paper
the best part is my dad got arrested for the same thing at the same bar 30 years ago... so he cant be mad
Please tell me you are a size medium in men's clown onesies and that you forgot them here last night.....
The drugs are starting to wear off. Suddenly aware there's a girl with bald patches and 2 guys that don't have a full set of teeth between them.
Things I can say. There is a photo of me pouring whipped cream into a midgets mouth.
Half my face is frozen, my vagina is broken, I'm wearing only gym shorts eating a plate of mashed potatoes, avatar is on my tv. There's a naked guy on my couch whose name idk. I needa talk to you asap
Im done having sex . he ruined it for me after he said " can we use my penis as a shovel ?"
New hot neighbor boys moving in across from us...So i did the logical thing and bought two 30 packs up the hill and walked right by em. Consider the line hooked and ready to reel.
Well right but if we go, he may just disappear for a long time into the unknown with the drag queens.
I thought I would be a proper lady and put my spare panties in a ziplock
I made my uber driver take a pit stop between clubs so we could restock on Xanax. #priorities
I ended up sleeping on a park bench. Never using Tinder again.
I know I joke about running from my problems a lot but I'm 3 miles off-campus and need a ride
Hey I'm trying to get back with my ex I'mm done doing whatever we were doing I hope things workout for you
Weird flex but ok.
Randomize
