Do you feel like you missed out a little from not getting crabs in college?
I just put a picture of what I imagine Rob's dick looks like on it on my vision board. thank you Oprah!
You know, be my cock's hype man.
Just saw a dude hanging out a window upside down chugging a 60 of vodka. This weekend is big for everyone I guess
haha she has always seemed a little off. when i met her i was told she was the queen slut. and she had a crown on at the time. it seemed appropriate.
I'm sorry. But when a stripper driving a Bentley tells me I have potential..... I gotta at least listen to her proposal. God did not mean for me to waste these tits on law school.
My vagina and my morals are playing tug of war
I have no idea, but there's a bus parked in front of my house and like 6 texts saying im gonna prove my love. this is either really really awesome or really really bad.
Tell me when you get here. I'm drinking beer in the bushes next to your house, and I put my hoodie up because I was cold. Pretty sure everyone lowkey thinks i'm homeless.
Dude, my ex girlfriend showed up, bought me a tequila shot, made out with me and then disappeared into the night. Then her current girlfriend saw, so she came over and slapped me and then I made out with her too
This was before halftime
I RUINED A LESBIAN RELATIONSHIP BEFORE HALFTIME
Yeah but if you conceived a child on a park slide that would be pretty awesome
I woke up in the basement of a pizza restaurant... I would say the tequila hit me pretty hard.
You know that gay bartender? Not as gay as we thought.....
She did what?
Who. The correct term is she did who.
Did you see him? The correct term is definitely what.
How's the party?
I'm watching two people get flogged. Sothere's that.
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