I'm sorry that you just had your first misguided homo experience
Yep, it's a dick on our front door. Intentional?
So just talked to them hahah i like that people sat there and watched as you two made out... They said they even had to refill their beers
every time i get drunk at her place i end up leaving with nothing but an empty box of toaster strudels..
I just slapped my cat in the face with my dildo. You were the only one I could tell.
He probs deserved it.
Every good man does.
Just got a blow job while taking my online quiz. How is life in the dorms treating you?
I just flicked a lizard out of the window with a bud light in one hand and spatula inthe other...dont tell me you dont miss the south
I'm drinking straight vodka and railing lines of adderall while writing a paper about the nature of Jesus. It's 6:50 in the morning. College.
Trying to figure out the logistics of putting my laptop speakers on this plate with the last slice of pizza. Too drunk to move the plate. Not an option.
The amount of knuckle children I've had to the Farrah Abraham sex tape is disturbing and impressive
Things you do not want to hear after sex: I almost lost my gum in your pussy. Really dude, don't share that with me!
Any chance I can buy my dignity back with $45?
I thought the Bane mask would really repel dudes but instead I ended up grinding on a frat dude that whispered "bad bitch contest, you in first place" in my ear in a Batman voice
Your the only person to come back from spring break with a non std related infection
she's throwing knives it scares me
update: broke ceiling. glass everywhere
Randomize
