before smithy murders me i need you to know 3 things. 1) i got with smithy's little sister last night. 2) i will always love you like my own brother. 3) smithy's little sis digs anal.
He was eating me out on the dryer...and his mom walked in with her laundry basket...
He wasn't the only one with a full load.
what do 4 police cars, 1 ambulence, and 2 fire truycks have in common?.... My driveway
i just remebered that we smoked out my hamster yesterday...
i hope hes still alive. i just remember you give him a shit load of cereal and saying "trust me your going to need it"
A picture just appeared on facebook. I am puking in the toilet, you are next to me puking in the sink. I think we have our christmas card.
Your cum is still running out of me. I pity the next person that tries these jeans on....
I found him with a guitar and his kitten in his room. He was singing a song he'd titled "you're a cat". Guess what most of the lyrics were...
His grandpa picked him up. Brought him to the house. And made him clean the puke off the driveway with a broom and a bucket of water.
You came into my room and started rubbing a banana on your face.
Signs you do Molly too much. Glow sticks fallout of random articles of clothing on academic row
You gave him that scrunchie you made and called it your "sex offering".
I mean, I already put pants on today. We're already halfway there
I don't think I'm gonna survive today. I don't remember how to walk. I must crawl 6 blocks to my bed.
You poured a bottle of water into the salad bowl and said "bowls are a joke" and then poured it into your lap.
2016 shall be rememered as the year I sharted while putting up the Christmas tree.
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