Who would have sex with her? She looks like she shops at baby gap
I don't think blacking out in class is a good idea. But I'm game
You picked me up and threw me on a barstool and shoved shots in front of me.
Thats like the definition of a good friend
this morning your mother said to me "sorry to have to meet you like this, in my sons bed" later she said "you never know whos gonna be in there. its scary sometimes"
Puking green right now......... jaimison mcflurry very bad idea
update: ifinallt managed t5o be in a. Horizontal position without throwing up... the snmall victories.
hey, its the girl who gave you a bloody nose and paid you back with a blow job. have you seen my shoes?
hungover waitressing a bar association event. im being judged by actual judges.
We ended up at a lesbian bar and all my co-workers tried to get me laid. This is not how I envisioned coming out.
I told you alcohol was flammable, but you didn't believe me until you tried to extinguish your sparkler by submerging it in vodka and the bottle burst into flames.
moms trying to set me up with a 28 year old. hes graduated university like im getting high in my bed and he's an adult
Walking towards a police car with full spotlights on you while being fully erect..awkward exp. for both parties
He compared my blow job skills to finding gold treasure in a gold chest, so there's that.
After tacos, we're chasing women.
He woke me with blue berry pancakes and a blow job. He's a keeper.
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