Funny, my mom didn't get it when I said 'that's what she said' after she said 'it's so thick, it's impossible' in reference to my milkshake
at a party and just made O-H-I-O out of dicks and vajayjays...i hope someone took a pic i was too busy (; GO BUCKS!!!
i just saw some one pass a baby through the drive-thru window at dairy queen.
Her parties are sponsored by Valtrex. This might not be your best idea.
I just test ran being their maid. I'm getting 50 bucks a month and they're buying the costume.
A kid in my class brought a George Foreman and cooked food mid lecture. When the prof found out, all the kid did was ask if he wanted some.
I had to stop mid sex to take my turn on words with friends so he wouldn't get suspicious. Hookup of the night helped me. We won.
Four times in one night? That Energizer bunny outfit lived up to the hype.
I asked him why the bed was wet and got.."well there are two options... and its not you."
Watching the blind side bc I need a good cry to make sure I'm still human after this weekend's questionable life choices
Everyone is coupling up and I'm just excited the bartender gives me enough attention to order more shots.
Slap a cop in the butt for a felony charge. Check.
we're tipping the strippers with chocolate coins.
I’m going to fail his daughter so she stays in my class and I can keep fucking him. BEST. ORGASMS. EVER.
Then you can teach the kid to be a home wrecker
We got stoned and watched Disney movies all night. I think I'm in love.
Randomize
