The Redheads category on Pornhub is my number 2 site behind facebook on google chrome. I think I have a problem
I passed out in the cab. Woke up to the cabby yelling SIR SIR WE ARE AT THE TRAIN STATION!! SIRRRR!!
Lets date for the summer
what?
Dont love me in September.
Not only did a random toaster end up in my house last night, it's also full of skittles.
I just watched my mom open a wine bottle with an electric drill. I have never been so proud.
this is not the time for floating mt dew and shots of tequila.
It's 6 am and I've spent the last few hours searching for a cork screw or suitable substitute. You had none. Incidentally, I finally opened this bottle of wine, but owe you a new meat sticky thing with those two prongs. Sobriety is not good for me. Or your utensils.
I command you to take a shot and dance like the pretty little gay boy you are.
Hey guy that stepped on my foot, don't slap my ass to apologize.
Last thing I ever expected to say, "Get your finger out of my ear or I will stop sucking your dick."
well, mom whipped her new boobs out at the dining room table. So yeah you could say we had a pretty casual thanksgiving
I apparently pulled his dick out at the bar and started yelling "DICK PICS IN REAL LIFE!"
My idiot ex texted me on Valentine's day to tell me I was right, he did need a therapist.
You casually put your finger in my ass and other people are weird..
Your mom asked you why you had bite marks all over your arms and you answered her by yelling "I HAD A SIESTA!"
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