Good news! Whoever used this stall at Target earlier...not pregnant!
It's a Westpoint/Army thing, we talk about Miley Cyrus a lot
Why?
Because when is jailbait ever not funny? Answer: Never
She made me role-play everything from an older prof to a in-patient in need of a medical exam. Yay for cocaine.
Edward fifth and chaser hands
I'm so glad I got to use the word gutterslut before 11:00a today.
Quick!! What's a good reason for me to have rug burn on my chin?
Another reason why I like dubstep now, it makes me feel even higher than I already am.
Right now I'm in a club where they are passing out glow in the dark dildos by the dozen. I don't think my life will ever get weirder than it is at this moment.
You okay? Last night you climbed through my window and demanded I take shots with you and when I refused you took a piss in my front yard.
that's your fault. you refused to take shots with me.
He bought me shrimp and alcohol and referred to himself as daddy. I am in love.
I let him stay at my place since i had to work early and when i got home there was a fruit snack wrapper in my bed. I dont have any fruit snacks. Which means he brought his own fruit snacks to the fuck session.
You don't come back from leaving a bag of shit on someone's counter Jill
I probably would do him if given the chance but how awkward would Bible study be after that.
I need something that says "I'm gay sometimes but I feel scorned by my straight, non-committal lover, so I'm here to get drunk and make out, and possibly end up in a bathroom with someone who's name I won't remember tomorrow"
He ate me out while I was playing bejeweled. It was the greatest moment of my life.
Randomize
