I heard some girl say 'yeah he mustve been so drunk he kept mumbling and repeating himself'
And I thought
Fuck I do that shit every weekend
you lied vaginas dont taste like gold fish!
noo i said youre golden if her vagina tastes like fish!
I can't believe you just thanked me for a blowjob on my Facebook wall...
WHY AREWNT YOU HERE SO MUCH FUN STUFF DO IT GET IN CAR NOW caps lock
Knowing that he goes to voodoo every Thursday really makes me want to get myself checked.
Please brint me miilk. I am on the floor but my door is open. Thank you, i appreciate u verry much.
I posted her number in the m4m casual encounters area of Craigslist.
I guess her always saying "gay men love me!" will finally get put to the test.
Why is my vagina being sacrificed for yours? I'm sure he would take a piece of you too. Your turn.
Fuck you. I've got onesies to keep me warm at night. And this bottle.
Last night was a whirlwind of vodka - induced emotion
not sure what stings more, my ass or my pride...
Rolled over in bed this morning and found Nutella and wet naps. Why can't it ever be a fire fighter, or Jude Law.
Why would you call when you knew I'd be having sex!?
Why would you answer?
You cuddled up under the blanket because you said it smelled like Santa and vodka.
well I ran around the park drunk with a plastic baby and fell, all while screaming "I WILL PROTECT YOU CARLOS", yeah there's video
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