Cops are here now. U need to come back. Ur not under arrest. But u need to apologize to the woman for what you did to her cat.
ask if his dick looks like a sausage. alex's bro told me that's a sure sign. btw took pain pills. maybe shouldn't listen to me.
I think my tv knows when im high and tells taco bell
his pick up line was "wanna get a pizza and fuck?"
did it work
that's not the point...
The theme is smores and alcohol. Dress appropriately.
The trip involved octopus tentacles coming from the little holes in my TV's speakers. The beauty of the nonexistant symbolism had me in tears.
Only you would think wine and coffee was an acceptable finals study time mix
You're right. Single life welcomed me back with open arms. It's like it knew it wasnt going to be long when I left.
New discovery: pineapple flavored vodka. Life made, liver in jeopardy. Graduation t-minus 50 minutes.
Someone downtown drunkenly stole the antenna off of her car... while she was driving.
You said you couldn't look at me because you would have to take off your sunglasses but you can't because they're the "guides to your eyes".
I went up by the border of Canada. We took shrooms and went fishing...pretty sure we killed a dragon and ate it for dinner
I'll have sex with you for tacos. I don't care, man.
he went down on me while I ate Oreos. I don't know what caused the orgasm.
Was it a bad idea to have spent all of my tax return on coke?
Randomize
