Fun fact: when I ripped off my wristband, I punched myself in the face. Rad
the crunchwrap supreme is the def leppard of the taco bell menu
which is why it's clearly superior
I feel like she's the kind of girl who always ends up with guys who have oddly shaped dicks..
Remember when we were mad at her for brining her mom on spring break? She just won the wet t-shirt contest. I think we owe her an apology.
i DID try to find you last night. i asked where you were and you texted me the letter "e" and a picture of the dark.
No more cocaine. I spent two hours in my bathroom convincing myself I was ugly. Is this what a period feels like?
You're the worst gay friend ever.
did you come by the house last night? I found a half eaten corn dog in the mail box.. I just figured you were drunk and needed somewhere to crash, but your no where to be found. I'll I have is this corn dog. call me when you get this. I'm worried! --mom
How can other people our age be acting like adults when I'm still taking my birth control pill with left over gin and tonic from the night before?
I just have to point out that once I typed "fa" my phone filled in "fatass"
I'm so hungover I just peed on my hand and left it, didn't wash... Killin it in 2915
we played his NES Classic. Turns out there is a warp zone to my vagina.
You walked in on us hooking up, hugged me, high fived him and unhooked my bra.. You claimed to be helping
I have no idea what happened last night but I sobered up whilst showering with a mop.
I could not add him. He gets 5 likes on Instagram.
ok, muffins say "love me", waffles say "fuck me", got it.
Randomize
