On a scale of 1 to 10 how hot is the girl you're about to fuck?
Strong 6
That's an oxymoron.
You came back with puke all over your sweatshirt and started doing darth vader impressions
we just ordered 30 dollars worth of french fries...whats wrong with us?
the brownie started to kick in before i finished the essay... it became a race against my own increasing intoxication
I'm going to see if it catches on fire again, then I'll make the decision.
I usually just read books and meditate to an aquatic soundtrack of sea walrus's mating. But ill choose coors light instead
happy find a boyfriend by next Valentines Day. Its like a new years resolution but depressing
Can I bring home a duck? Dead serious
Just had an hour long talk with a woman, turns out she's the mom of the guy i lost my virginity to. Even better his dog was also present.. Meeting the family at its best?
We peed together in a dark alley while holding hands. That is a bond that can never be broken.
I preemptively put on a cape before eating a bunch of weed brownies. Best decision ever.
Things he's good at: oral sex and geometry. Things he's not good at: actual sex.
My arms in a cast, how am I supposed to have sex with only one hand?
more importantly I need two hands to eat pie
Crying in Target on a display sofa is normal, right? Asking for a friend.
I think I just shit out all my problems.
Randomize
