I can't believe he cheated
Whatever. Anytime she has an orgasm, it's because I taught him how
I've blown a few things in my day
just got 3 freshman girls to makeout with each other at a toga party! score!
why is this not a picture message?!?!
...she just doesn't genetically have the things I want my kids to have.
sometimes i wish i could find another girl that loves my dick as much as she does
i feel like she has dreams of it being like a person saying hey lets go play
Hindsight: maybe I should have included a few transitional texts in between talking about your son and my need to have sex. Do over?
I just want you to know that if I ever had to fight man eating flowers or flying turtles to save my friends they'd be fucked. No one's worth all that bullshit. PS I really need to stop playing Wii while drunk.
I was in holding with a guy that got a DUI on a hover round. He was so nice. We're hanging out tonight.
We're doing a case race on Saturday.
I'm in. I'm currently drinking a beer in the bathtub so I guess I can consider this "practice" and not just "alcoholism"
Not rlly sure. Might just drink and sleep. Gotta wake up for my last rabies shot lol
She wanted to roleplay. Apparently you be snow and i'll be a plow wasn't an option
is year to celebrate how much I love you, I made a mosaic of your penis with conversation hearts. it's in your mailbox.\n\nHAPPY VALENTINE'S DAY TO YOU
Fuck you for setting me up with the guy from the Nickelback cover band
Payback for not stopping me from fucking the guy in the wookie costume
Sometimes i think i need to stop drinking because i can't afford losing so many panties anymore
i keep replaying things i did last night. and remembering new things. and its a constant cycle of torture
Randomize
