I think scott just propositioned me for sex
??? When I first met her at the bar, she told me she was 23. After I bought her 3 shots of tequila, she told me she was really only 21. When we went back to my house, she said she was really only 19. She's still sleeping next to me butt naked. I'm afraid if she opens her mouth again I could be looking at 10 years.
I'm not to broken up about it. Our relationship was worse than a coldplay song.
my FASA form asked what i spent the majority of my 08 earnings on, im tempted to put "booze, blow, & blunts"
I'm like cupid
You're a whore with a bow and arrow
Getting drunk now, but later remind me to tell you how to crash an 8th grade grad party.
As i was blowing him Silent Night came on his iTunes. I said "it isn't christmas" and he moans "yeah it is."
Naked Twister starts at high noon
I'm going to get pregnant and die... Mean Girls warned me about this but I didn't listen
I may or may not have traded your body to the rodeo's owner for free beer.
I just did a drunk experiment to find out what it looks like when you turn a burner on the stove on while wearing night-vision goggles. I may be blind in my right eye now.
No just a slight sexual miscommunication which led to a little (lot) vomiting by one party and a bruised sternum on the other party involved.
I can't even make a guess how that goes.
Literally I can feel my heart beat in my vagina because of how sore I am
I have a bunch of bug bites on my ass... This is why you don't have sex against a tree in the woods
Like people might wonder why I put up with your puns. You give good head and play with my hair
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