and trust me i need no booty pop lessons
I just saw the dad from "Little People Big World" at the airport. I chased him down and congratulated him for beating the DUI.
I felt weird they were both staring at me waiting for the scoop on how your vagina felt.
It's sore actually
I think his parents are learning english from the phrases I shout during sex.
I have been way too involved with your nipples this weekend
YOU TOLD ME THAT YOU CAUGHT A TAXI HOME. SARAH SAID THE POLICE DROPPED YOU OFF.
Remind me to tell you a really funny story about me and arson.
It's that moment where you find out the girl you've been dating for 6 months is a mob daughter. Post breakup.
hooking up with him was much more fun when i knew in the back of mind we'd get in some sort of trouble for it
If I'm gonna have a rotation of guys, I really should stop them leaving boob bruises...
He told me to grab his penis so I did and swung it around and said “awe, it looks like the wacky inflatable tube man.
I think he may actually care that I call him slampiece instead of his real name. Who knew he had feelings?
we've dated a week and made out twice. he is taking it slow. but his body is stupid sexy. just want him to stop respecting me and fuck me like a gutter slut. respect me later im not getting younger.
Also we're getting drunk and sledding down Caroline street. See you soon.
All I want right now is a waffle and some fried chicken and a penis.
Randomize
