So she stayed over last night and slept walked in to my moms room where she used the bathroom and then proceeded to get in bed with my moms naked boyfriend. So yeah, at least now my family got to meet her.
He asked if he could fuck me while on chat roulette.
I can't begin to describe what I look like walking through the grocery store with this outfit and chocolate syrup.
It's a self-perpetuating puke chain.
You slid down the bannister into a split. Lines were crossed.
Seriously how many times do I have to sleep with him before he stops calling me dude
Breakfast Clubbing as Juggalos. I can feel our IQs in freefall.
My life has come to reading articles about dating an ex heroin addict. I'm doing well.
He's gonna be so upset when he get's a real job and can't do serious drugs.
We took your mom out drinking and we wound up winning 18 games of Flip Cup. You have amazing genetics.
Seeking encouragement from my tinder matches to ace this test. I've sunk to a newest low.
Somehow, you looked so classy chugging that bottle of wine last night.
You were laying on the floor coloring a "get well soon' card for your liver...
I was so high I forgot how to swallow food, and I just kept thinking "thank god its just mashed potatoes, they'll go down eventually"
I just saw puke on the road at the same stoplight i threw up at sunday morning! Makes me smile inside.
Randomize