so this carnie looked at me and said "the ride in my pants is funner." i wet myself.
Last night we were drunk and talking about rude things, I mentioned felching and had to explain it to everyone. Everyone was disgusted and asked how I knew about such filth and I told them you told me. Don't get mad. Also a quck heads up, you might get gifts of straws at work,
I'm so turned on right now it's fucking stupid. I hate burger king commercials
in the bathroom helping her wash cum out her eye. pretty much explains my sex life
I just peed on my pajamas. Its gonna be a long night. Don't forget the cookies.
I stayed up for hours making sure you didnt pass out in a mountain of your own puke. But when I heard you yell AWWWW FUUCCKK, somehow I knew everything would be ok
i feel we're the only people who'd use nyquil sexually
My dad just said "fuck circus"
And then I realized my chick friends consist only of sober you, drunk you and hungover you
I just used an Amazon gift card from a student to order a new vibrator....teacher of the year
I managed to break 3 nails and loose my stockings, but I made 87 dollars at the strip club. I asked where I could find an application on the way out.
VIVE LA RESISTANCE
Oh god, what now?
I was just dry heaving outside of the Chem building when a guided tour walked by. Welcome to the Maritimes kids...
Sorry for prompting a philosophical penis discussion at 10:45 on a Friday night.
I would offer you moral support, but I have questionable morals..
Randomize
