I used to have a blog that was basically all about ****** and all of his sexual misadventures
I mean it made tucker max look like a fucking alterboy
But unfortunatley his mom did a google search and found it
im insabelyl wasted and diont know if ill yexyed tou. call me
I want Jason Statham to talk British to my vagina.
I have taken lazynest to a new level. I took a picture of the notes on the board instead of writing them. I win.
the lighter is IN the bong. I don't know what to do
JUST SAW MY DRUG DEALER SOBER AND GOING TO CLASS. This is weird, its almost like he's an actual student whio leaves his room...
You cleaned out the gashes in your leg from hopping that fence with that whipped cream vodka, didnt you?
I made out with an Italian cab driver. Not cool. Help. Good news he will drive us anywhere we want to go as long as you cook food?!?!?! I want to melt into the pavement.
I can recall having this conversation with a three year old, but go on
Like I'm not tryna become president or marry a doctor or some shit here, like one level above garbage is all I'm asking for
nothing like waking up to a voice mail saying your std test came back negative
I didn't think you were that drunk until you were trying to rub your foot on my vag under the table at the thai place.
Am i obligated to tell my sister her girlfriend was my one night stand three months ago?
PSA Do not blow dry your junk.
Somehow my life has turned in to drug deals at the bar, and illegally camping on a mountain because I have no where else to live.
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