when I scratched it gently some sort of watery looking stuff came out...so then I just stopped thinknig about it.
Best friends brother. Beat that.
Well yes but because of that incident i now salute to truck drivers
Babysitting for someone you accidently sent nudies to is so fucking awkward.
They sat me on college avenue with a puke bucket and people were mistakenly throwing change in it. Got me enough money take a cab back to my apartment.
had a nice chat with the older gay fellow who works in the bakery at the new vons about vday...we both feel that it's a day of dashed expectations & concerns that we'll have to be cut out of our spanx
When you wake up with a bow tie and mustache drawn on your penis, you know you had a good night.
That awkward moment when you hear your boss yelling during sex while you're on her couch eating Easy Mac.
Also I will be receiving my own bra in the mail because I left it at his place, woops
the sex got boring after the first three hours
holy shit
Just discovered I was so fucked up last night I called in sick to work... TWICE
Did you really kidnap my goldfish last night?
were you aware we were supposed to be taking care of her hamster this weekend?
im mourning your vaginas lack of frictional upkeep
my favorite sex position is the one where no sex actually happens we just get really stoned and eat a lot and watch netflix in the dark
Randomize
