i would give spencer pratt a bj just so i could bite his dick off
he'd just find a way to get more famous from being a eunich.
Instead of just putting in it he asked "will you do the honors?" it was the cutest thing I had ever heard before sex.
Go on vacation with her and forget to pack pants. I did that once and it worked like a charm.
Before I dignify that with an answer, let me get this straight. You're asking me if I wiped my ass on the towels?
he kept a regular condom in his wallet just so he could comment on how it wouldnt fit before whipping out the magnums. i give him points for the build up
you inspire me to be a worse person
I just creeped on air mattress guy's facebook and discovered his ex is the trifecta of evil: tiny, cute, and blonde.
He followed me on twitter after I posted a drunk screen shot of a tweet. It's like he gave me permission to stalk him on a whole different level.
so apparently last weekend we taught the mascot how to shotgun beers. am i winning college yet?
It is clearly not my fault that you decided studying was more important than trying to bang our hot teacher for an A, so I seized the opportunity.
It was a blind-side dick pic.
The selfie stick gets 5 stars bc it really added a fun element to my sex tape
So.. I was kinda upset i got the bad fuck out of the situation
i couldn't be more explicit if i hit him upside the head with a dildo
sober me needs to have more faith in drunk me.
Randomize
