the way she shouted out instructions during sex made me feel like I was having sex with my gym teacher
I think I'm making progress on my commitment issues. I drunk made out with the same guy from last semester this weekend.
we where pretty evenly matched until he threw me through that wall
incase your class ends early, there are three naked guys in our room. but don't get too excited, they're all gay.
WHAT THE FUCK JASON, WHY IS THERE A FREE BLOW JOBS BY LISA SIGN IN MY FRONT LAWN WITH MY PHONE NUMBER ON IT?! PEOPLE ARE PULLING INTO MY DRIVEWAY!
Yeah I had this grand plan to bring flaming dr pepper shots to some girls and say "these shots are hot, but not as hot as you" but instead I lit the bar on fire
I know I've wanted to fuck him for the past month, but when you're that hungover, the only chemistry you have is with a pillow and a gallon of water.
A baby just tried to pull out his mom's huge tits at work today and nearly succeeded. I was silently cheering for the little guy.
Bar selfie Saturday turned into bar nudie Saturday in a hurry. I need to delete my snapchat...
Trust me.. Might look gay.. Might feel gay... But I could snap your neck with my inside thighs bro
Soooo you know how I said I was trying to be a rational adult? Well that led to me fucking a rational adult today.
It's not a funeral, it's a celebration of life. Going commando AND braless is really just honoring him!
I thought my holiday spirit was gone this year until I got banged to Christmas music. It's back.
its official, you're fucking me on my lunch break. the only thing I want in my mouth is your dick. pick me up at noon.
want fries with that?
My brain is like a TV with 10 channels, 9 of them are static and the other one just plays that one Nagito Komaeda edit on loop 24/7
Randomize
