In my defense it was my birthday and I really wanted to do it.
we got plastered, then made lists of anything thats ever been in our vaginas
I know. Brad is upset because he was lower on the list than "that carrot stick"
He could tell i had a fever by feeling my tits. He gets docter of the year.
Well if were past the bullshitting stage yes if not then no I'm not that kind of guy
Joe decreed the livingroom and the hallway up to the burn mark his kingdom. I think this is the point of 'stage an intervention'
Nope. He totaled my car then moved back to Louisiana to work things out with baby mama. I sure know how to pick em
I wanted to make fun of someone saying that to an untrained ear, skrillex is blah blah blah. But it was too soon after they said it. And now I can't find it. These are real problems.
In other news, people don't judge you when you buy a vibrator if you buy a funny birthday card and bag with it. I learned that this weekend.
I mean when you laced a shot with $200 worth of cocaine I could see why you'd be mad when somebody drops it
Wish me luck. My vagina needs it.
May his noodley appendage touch you.
We're too hungover to prance.
Yeah you're weird. You once told me you would by me a house in the middle of sex. Like as you were thrusting.
So you were shitfaced and stole a fucking kayak?
HE WAS CUMMING IN THAT DICK PIC
Nothing says “I spent too much in Vegas” quite like eating a jar of pickles for dinner and planning on cream of celery soup for breakfast tomorrow.
Randomize
