Who haven't you slept with?
No one comes to mind.
her vagina probably looks like a grenade went off in a deli
Well, it's 24 hours till finals. I need high A's on all of them and I still am not sure where exactly on campus most of my classes took place.
we need a dd. For wednesday. At lunch. What are we doing with our lives?
succeeding
it was like i was on a global safari of uncircumcised men
mom came into my room and asked to borrow some condoms. We have gotten to the point where it's not awkward anymore.
My ex wife just asked to go over our divorce papers and for sex in the same text
Hungover in church. I can feel stained glass Jesus judging me.
I just threw up vodka and hot dogs in a handicapped stall with someone in it who couldn't make me leave because he couldn't walk.
Like will they card me for my own whiskey in shampoo bottles?
Soooo I think my neighbor just saw me masturbating on my porch
you said something about joining a k-pop band before passing out topless on the trampoline.
You know your late night booty call was a huge fail when you go back to your car after it's over, and it's still warm.
You know you have a good math teacher when we're talkIng about mixture problems and no one gets it until he explains it by talking about mixing alcohol
Why is the floor coated in a 2 inch blanket of popcorn??
Randomize
