Announcement: Given the sad circumstances regarding the death of my dearest friend Chong the Bong, there will be a brief memorial service for him tomorrow evening at 10:30 at my place. After sharing some memories and sending his spirit off to the great bowl in the sky, we will all take place in the commemoration and maiden voyage of his son, Chong Squared, who eagerly waits to meet all of you. High blessings to you all, piece be with you.
Of course it was necessary for me to call the strip club and ask what their shower policy is. Smelled like she was wiping her ass with my eyebrows during that dollar dance.
I'm a busy girl. All I wanted was noncommittal sex a few times a week
It's either my own vomit or popcorn butter in my ear right now. Banking on the second one.
We made popcorn last night. So it's both
You called to teach me about fire safety, meowed a whole bunch, said "I hope you are not on fire" and hung up.
I always ask when they're due. It's the nicest way for me to let her know the rest of the world can tell she's putting on weight too
Just remembered I said your cat looked delicious last night.
I am one with the molecules
Every time you mention the threesome around him I will high five you. Do what you will with this information.
Those thigh tattoos deserve the handsomest of grins between them. Dont settle.
Me too...I'm driving to work trying to figure out if I put my pants on the right way.
I vote we just hike, drink, and destroy dick
- I'm finally learning to be functional when I'm high. I feel like this is a milestone.
Freshly fucked must agree with my hair cause I've gotten compliments on it this afternoon
Well obviously we have a ghost in the house who’s taking showers in your bathroom and doing our cocaine.
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