i hope thats the last time i ever see ryan's hairy ass fucking
The child next door sounds like he's having vigorous sex in the backyard and it's making me very, very uncomfortable. I don't want to look.
She came over with Guinness cupcakes, a case of Mickeys, wearing an Ireland flag & nothing else.
He started making shapes and faces with his cock and balls.... apparently if you wrap the shaft with your balls and turn it 90 degrees to the left it looks like a hamburger
Her bed looked like it had just hosted a water balloon fight. It was that good.
The girl with a dislocated arm just did an assisted keg stand. You will never have an excuse again.
she said she walked into the kitchen and i was sitting ass naked on the floor chugging her parents vodka.
Tim and I found you a 5ish and asked how you were doing with the breakup. All you said was "i can't words"
Can't tell if its the LSD or if that demon man just stared at my penis. Cleveland is a weird place. All true stories.
I dont know how I should feel about you making a 37 year old come visit you and then making him do the walk of shame from your dorm room...through campus
I just offered a cat a "drinky drinky" I'd say my night has started
He literally just peed in a trash can in our room. It didn't even have a bag in it
He dated a girl who could do the damn splits on his dick like how do you compete with that
I'm at that stage of drunk where just imagining having sex makes me motion sick.
I can't get past the whole vibrator up the ass stunt.. Can we have a ceremonial burning for his dignity because I will not ever touch that again..
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