nosebleed girl is getting lots of praise
About to do something stupid. You'll be my call. Bring bail money.
good. and stop kissing my girl you dirty slut.
i don't think she's still your girl..plus, she kept screaming "kiss me! i'm a lesbian!" last night so i think you're outta luck..
he offered to walk down from the bar this morning to my house and bring me a guinness...
how romantic. its the irish mans version of flowers
So the answer to your question is yes, I was masturbating on the roof of my building.
apparently it isn't appropriate to tell a coworker who is eating celery because it's "negative calories" that a blowjob is too
we all took turns holding you up and pretending that you were simba and that we were presenting you to the jungle
For only eating leftover pizza for breakfast today, you sure do have a lot to vomit up...
Heard you had a bad day. I have vodka, chocolate and my dick here ready to put a smile back on your face.
Is it rude if I don't go?
No. It is not rude if you don't go to her cat's Star Wars themed birthday party.
I woke up to find a bottle of Bacardi in my shower rack. How was your night?
I just told a guy I'm a cross of Kim K, Hilary Clinton and a dragon... He was still into it.
I'm at the back whiskey bar with a 7 and 7 in a winnie the pooh costume. Come find me.
Arrived home from picking Mom and Nana up at the airport to find Marc buck ass nude beneath the Christmas tree. Nana says she always knew I was queer.
tell me about the fingering
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