I want to walk on stilts...naked
I cant believe I just managed to do a drug deal across the country for you...
Measuring your booze intake in glasses is like measuring Rosie O'Donnell's weight in ounces.
I'm still amazed at how you managed to puke in every plant on the whole top floor at the mall without a single person noticing and without missing a step.
12 garbage cans filled with water, a beer can floating in every garbage can, 20 ft. apart and you shoot with dodge balls..and thats only how the night began
Who was that couple sleeping in your bed with us last night?
i sat alone in my bed and ate pizza and garlic fingers. The icing on the cake was hearing your moans from down the hall.
We were on the balcony tossing jello shots to people passing below
When people said no i'd yell "i tried them i promise they aren't roofied!"
I don't give a shit if she's homeless, if you're gunna live outside el pollo loco and act like a bitch I'm squirting you with my water bottle
I just need some dick and some jimmy johns
The toilet wouldn't flush at the club so I literally just shat in the garbage.
I'm giving head in a stairwell, I'll be back in a few minutes. I'm so ashamed.
Best part about losing weight and not fitting into your pants any longer? They come off quick for chipotle emergencies.
A sultry night of tacos and sex sounds nice. Should I bring home milk?
i have a lot of questions about the picture quality/lighting/motion/gravity of the balls...
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