My bra smells like weed because there's weed in my bra
This girl I work with, who is 18 btw, invited me to her baby shower. Do they sell abortions in gift certificate form?
and apparently i was drunk enough to follow up with "I'd let me touch your boobs" ... not my best line.
At victory brunch. Have a decent story. Im now eskimo brother with the duke mens basketball teams from 2002 to 2008 and obamas right hand man
you asked "if this appropriate to take the the bathroom?" while holding up a bottle of vodka when you went to pee.
She looked at my facebook and decided to bump the security deposit up an extra 250...now we have to destroy the house, its expected and I wouldn't want to disappoint
I love my boobs, they're the only thing that supports me. They make me a solid 6.
Was just told that I was slipped 2 hits of acid in my in flight drink before takeoff. 8 hours to Germany wish me luck
I'm flagged. Drank strippers water. Flashed Dave tryin to get a job here. You order the shots. Green tea betch.
It was a cry at the bar alone type of night, served with a side of passing out facedown in my nachos.
Your texting shows a blood alcohol level of .12
I'm about to initiate a game of drunk UNO.
Drunk UNO has officially been banned from now until forever.
did you just send me my own nude
He caught a Pokemon on my head while I sucked him off. I think I need to marry him.
Gez, you make a couple noises and all of the sudden your the loud girl.
Randomize
