Since when do you wear a bracelet?
Not a bracelet. Half a pair of handcuffs
just printed 333 ways to get kicked out of wal-mart. hello thursday night.
I still can't believe I found a dildo in my ceiling today.
i just licked my manager on accident and i'm freaking out
going to class with no bra.. is that saying "i don't give a fuck i'm one hour away from thanksgiving break?"
I'm drinking with 3 chicks and 1 gay dude. 100% chance I'm getting laid and 75% chance I'll enjoy it.
He autographed my vag. This fuck just got authentic.
I can't believe this. 100 bucks says my Botox lasts longer than their marriage will.
How do you keep manipulating these men into helping you?
I'm a massage therapist with an oral fixation. It's not nearly as hard as you make it out to be.
So now I know what having sex while surrounded by chickens feels like.
Saw your dad at the bar last night... And again this morning when he left. Told you not to mess with me bitch.
Well I'm trying out this whole "not sleep with a stranger thing"
That's silly... just silly. And by silly I mean unrealistic.
wyd
Laying here debating on if i want a sandwich or an orgasm.
I found a tomato seed inside my jeans. I did not eat tomatoes
My dad is sitting where you rode me
Randomize