why did u let me go home with him last night?
u were determined it was a good idea
i mean really, i cant compete with a cucumber
I just put a condom on my dildo so i wouldng get another uti....most depresIng moment of.my LIFE
So I just introduced myself to this guy in front of me and now he's saving my pictures on facebook to his phone..
I don't even want to think what you did to boys being that drunk and horny.
Then I wouldn't suggest looking at the pictures from last night.
She carries her pencils in a crown royal bag... Need I say more?
this is you don't wonder off at 3 am with no pants on. Just stay there and pray to god you don't get arrested for being on school property.
I literally just smashed open my grade school piggy bank for beer money. Goodbye childhood. Hellllllo coin night.
NATIONAL GIVE A BOSTON COP A BLOW JOB BITCH ROAD TRIP NOW
Itd be nice if there was a level of interest in me somewhere in between the indifference and obsession that I've only been attracting
Last night must have been awesome because I went to get in the shower only to find the bat symbol drawn on my chest
That happened during battle shots lol
My flask has coffee in it for finals week.. So that's responsible right?
You know it was a good night when you wake up w/o a shirt in someone elses living room next to a pancake on a spoon in a bowl of spaghetti.
Omg I just woke up. In the hallway outside my room. I know you had something to do with this
I was so high I kept trying to flush the toilet with the light switch
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