I cant believe you went over there and fucked her last night after everything you said
she invited me over to play the wii, it's not like i intended to
You KNEW her power was out...
i just got so high i needed a buddy system to the kitchen
just convinced brandon semen are bugs that crawl in your pants and make gooey juice. now hes convinced he has them lmao
girl in the front row yawned. double jointed jaw. i know where i'll be sitting next class
I drank 13 shots. Which is unlucky. Which is why i threw up.
you threw up because you drank 13 SHOTS
He said "I know I'm not gay. I fucked a guy once and didn't like it"
All I remember about walking back home was that I maced my shadow.
She was covered in mud grabbed my crotch and said see that handprint that means I called dibs
And by sexy pictures I mean pictures of my penis in strange places. I rock out with my cock out.
my math prof is telling us what to do in a gun fight. i dont want to live in oakland anymore.
I'm not really sure if I peed the bed last night or if the cat was trying to get back at me for using her litter box last weekend
I don't know who's more excited for you to come home. Me or my vagina
When I am this hungover I become increasingly grateful for having my own private office
Is this because I accidentally peed on you?
I thought the dude was just really enjoying his piss but apparently he was jerkin off into the urinal.
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