I saw his dick soo much last night when I saw him this morning all I saw was penis where his face should be
My family just suggested tequila shots. I had Vietnam style flashbacks.
At what point should shame kick in? Realising I had a one night stand with a man engaged or realising I am that man's wedding photographer?
i think you walked me home, then i felt bad for putting you through the trouble so i walked you home...i'm not sure how i got home after that.
I'm spooning a three legged dog right now. Started drinking whiskey with Breakfast. Best part about being biracial is Irish cousins. Dog Pic Attahed
Definitely contact high. Thirty miles an hour listening too i can see clearly now wanting too eat the steering wheel
We still on for coffee?
Cream and sugar. Deliver to planned parenthood in 45.
I would have done it. But then again I am a starving student who can manipulate my brain into thinking my decision was somehow morally justifiable.
I'm like a savant for remembering names I learned while I was drunk. Seriously, I'm three for three. I'm on a roll.
I've never seen a dude bust out of his jacket and rock an air banjo like u
We've started traveling with Michael and Patrick so we can pretend we're two legit straight couples.
A charade that fell apart the second another couple on the cruse found Sarah face down in my box on an observation deck.
You would only karaoke to Spanish songs, but sang with the accent of the french candle stick in beauty and the beast.
I think I was just hit on by Jesus Christ. This is not okay. Bad Touch. I NEED AN ADULT!
Calm the hell down, it's just stoner Bob.
He just snapchatted me a blank snap that said "miss our sex" Vagina game too strong
My vagina cried when he left. I think she's about to be at war with my self respect.
Randomize
