p.s. this guy just tipped me with ecstasy pills. is this real life
The whole way homeyou were flapping your arms up and down, and when I asked why you said you were trying to tell Tony Danza about the angels.
just told my prof that "i dont give a fuck" about the final. nothing like a having a signed employment contract already
Drunk sex destroyed my coffee table... ikea this weekend?
We didn't have beer, so we played mini-beer pong with shots and frozen peas.
My clothes are covered in blood and I feel like I drank a gallon of elephant cum...it's safe to say I'm hungover
Definitely just found that pen in the microwave. What the fuck.
So both cops helped talk her into coming back into the bar and doing a shot with me. The main argument being, "a bar is no place to be sober!"
I was so drunk last night I asked a rando at the bar to take a picture with me cause I thought he was in the band
The woman in the flower onesie is claiming she hasn't been drinking.
Sending a pic of labia to send to the TN Legislator. Obviously they don't think I know what to do with it so I'm gonna ask them for advice.
Fyi - we're going to be eating those sandwiches in bed when you get home.
Sorry I called bc I needed help peeing outside
But I did it
I need to learn how to not be a fucking liability
You told your boyfriend he needed to fuck you in the tree because it would make you guys one with nature.
Did he?
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