remind me not buy ky at kmart ever again. Had to get a manager to open the locked case. then he stood there and watched me look through the selection
I hate that ur telling me this.
Seriously, let me lead the intervention, my parents did like three with me. I know how it works.
Vodka is such a love hate relationship.
Truer words have never been spoken.
He came in my nose, then said it would help clear my sinuses.
I was just compiling a top 5 blowjobs list and that's in there for sure.
I'm blaming hurricane Irene if I get pregnant tonight.
I'm hiding her cosmo magazine. the only sex tip she needs is to not handcuff her boyfriend to her roommates bed and lose the key
Dude I woke up in her bed wearing a top hat and bunny slippers and noticed one of us had pissed in bed. The last thing I wanted to ask for was a ride home
I was making out with him, and then his friend randomly took off my pants and started going down on me. My first semi-threesome was a success.
He said I act like a cross between a kindergartener and a high 70 year old man. Which is inacurate because it fails to account for the disco obsession.
I warned you. Don't come crying to me when your vagina refuses to forgive you for this.
Do you think it's wrong for me to hop on that dick before he realizes that he's gay?
I almost stopped mid bj to let him know I appreciated his balls being nice to look at/have my face near. But I didn't know if that would ruin, or improve the moment.
Because you put the dick in ridiculously amazing boyfriend. And you deserve to have nice things happen to your penis. That's why.
Last night you were prentending to be a broom stick...you were laying on the floor and humming the Harry potter song.
Randomize
