they have pregnancy tests at the dollar store
I feel like that is one of those things that you should not cheap out on.
okay. so this hammed chick got arrested and she keeps trying to make out with the cop. i like her style.
We are having a competition to see who can masterbate in the wierdest place, right now hes winning since he masterbated on his Jr. High school bus.
This is why i like single justin better. my only regret is not being present for more of his short life. may he rest in peace
I can't help but feel like we would be friends still if my phone didn't always capitalize BUTTLOAD...
He was dressed as a cowboy and he was dancing with my ex roommate. So I took his gun and pistol whipped him with it..then somehow we still slept together..
He just showed up with a bottle of wild turkey a half a can of coke and some marshmallows yelling "gobble gobble bitches" my roommates hate my cousin
I'm at a bar. It's body paint Wednesday. All of the waitresses are topless. Help me
I have 39 hot sauces from Chipotle
It's like earning obesity badges
Anyone see the sob who took the piñata?
You had sex with a guy who has a purple beard last night. No Molly for a while, ok?
You went home with a guy at 11... than returned to the bar at 1
Disclaimer- Don’t worry about my wounded nip. I put a bandaid on it.
After this weekend, all I can think about is bald eagles flying in front of fireworks and giving birth to fucking uncle sam. Also, beer.
It’s only loud for those who wanna get loud. The bowlers are protected.
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