Far right against the wall..hiding come find me. dont tell oyhers hahaha
Lets go to the mall and pick up some fat chicks and take them out tonight so we can be the skinny friends
next time a party gets busted lets get a group photo first.
You should know I just got pulled aside by TSA because they found a bottle of Bud Light in my backpack... Thanks for that...
did you dip my ponytail in franzia? its the only thing i can think of to explain my hair right now.
Why can't people give useful wedding gifts...like sex swings or Nutella?
You realize we were screaming in the car about our apartment next year because we can "bring home randoms whenever we want" and "stare at each other from our door ways"
All I remember is laying in that secret hideaway closet, naked, with a beer cowboy hat on and you walking in and sitting down crying because no one would have sex with you
He had a step stool to get in to his bed!
Aside from the possibility of pregnancy, I'm going to call last night a raging success.
I need to go back to work. I've had so much sex since the shutdown started. last night we tried and a little flag came out saying "nothing is left in here try a week later"
Is there like a dick file on me? Guys can't hold two dicks anymore?! Who are you people????
Before he gave me the breathelizer, he told me to "blow like you're blowing your boyfriend". I like him. My tax dollars are well spent
I hope that will b the last time i take off my pants in the chemistry building.
honestly, fuck you guys. i'm gonna get drunk by myself
Randomize