Dude?? where did you go after Wildcats last night? Last I heard you went off with one of the girls we danced with?
Negative - This is his GF, Bobby is in Jail for a DUI. Thanks for the info.
why is there a sandwich nailed to the wall
I seriously think I have a tan line on my stomach from getting a boner while in the taning bed.
Excused from finishing the term project because my lab partner got arrested. For the second year in a row. Public school, I love you.
Bookstore boy and I went out, he came back here and I tried to fool around and he respects me too much blah blah I'm a predator.
You beat him at the shot competition, and proceeded to rub it in while telling everyone to "ASK ME A MATH QUESTION!!!"
I should just black out in my front yard again- that was a great nights sleep.
You called my nipples compassionate. What does that even mean?
Got it in all night, now at a bar at 730 am and we are the only two people here. Somewhere my mid twenties father is applauding me.
I think we've reached the point in the summer were we need to go back to school. I was so bored yesterday I nearly bought blow dart gun.
I'm about to be a GTA V widow, he could at least throw me a bone. Literally.
Call me and get me out of this conversation NOW. My coworker is talking to me about her birds having sex again...
I just walked through the door and she ran up to me, hugged me, unzipped my pants and immediately started sucking my dick. Good day.
It was crazy man, at one point after already going 3 rounds I tried to breakaway for a smoke...she yanked me by the nipple hair back on top of her.
I'm bonding with your girlfriend. I like her. We're plotting your demise.
Randomize
