I just needed to know whether or not to wear panties to work tomorrow.
take the plastic off of my new air freshener and i'm not going to eat you out for a month.
dude if i could bring that prime piece of meat home, id be the luckiest average-looking girl who ever lived
Well, that's a 3 inch weight lifted off of my vagina
Things you owe me: a sober apology, $12, the removal of bbq sauce from my doorknob
I don't know what you're talking about but its dick galore in the tub. We will be getting poked tonight. Bring forks.
I ended up driving home on my birthday, he opened the door to puke on the highway, and animal balloons were flying out of the car the entire time. The people behind us got a show.
I feel like calling off tonight. Is a strong desire for masturbation a valid reason?
Perfect. Let's do that. I'm thinking everclear and green dye as our base. We shud start from there
If if makes you feel any better, you're definitely the hottest guy I've ever friendzoned.
The funny part was that the cop pulled us over cause the park was closed, not because I had just come up from giving the guy a blowjob when the cop drove by.
This is why we can never be together. Well that and we r married to other ppl but that's very minor detail compared to the coffee issue
Next guy I fuck must be a cowboy
I licked your asshole in confidence.
why is there glitter IN my vagina????
Randomize
