can't come out tonight. went to the bar again last night and the bartender hugged and thanked me so much for my "generosity." I'm intrigued but terrified to see my credit card bill.
on the list of things id be doing when i was almost 30, waiting for a girl to finish shitting the bed wasn't on there.
I mean, how many people can say they helped surgically remove something from their body? Other than the guy that got his hand stuck under a rock and cut it off. Doesn't count
i was drunk enough to give the cab driver my number when he said "you talk like you like guys"
Ok. I am hammered I will admit it but my legacy needs to live and your the only woman that could spawn satan. We need to talk.
First week back and I made to one class, its gonna be okay after all.
I'm hoping that by this time next year we will be smoking some weed at a gay wedding, asking "Mitt who?"
I just think that if you're going to run around naked outside, a feather boa should be involved. Half for the flair and half for an emergency cover.
I yelled at the dude who smoked him up "YOU'RE THE REASON I'M NOT GETTING LAID" then went to bed. So yeah, I guess it was an ok night.
what's the least obnoxious place that i could barf on the bus?
with the possibility that i could very easily fall in love with him and i've actually talked to my HUSBAND about it
It's hard to talk dirty with a mouth full of peanut butter
This can only be settled by a dance off.
I made soup. Now I'm having post soup making wine. I had pre soup making wine also.
The text I got from my boyfriend this morning: "babe, I'm not mad because I know you were drunk, but you kissed 3 guys last night and I wasn't one of them".
Randomize
