help me. he won't leave me alone. he just licked my ear and he's so drunk. get him off me. we're in the closet. help.
i just masturbated with purell and my dick burns and smells like a hospital
what is TOTES MCGOATS in spanish?
He told me I couldn't drink an unopened bottle of water he had in his room because that was his emergency bong water
She just asked me if her C-section scar turned me on.
My birthday was already very memorable but her punching me in the face put it over the top. I love being 25 and still not giving a fuck.
Public service announcement: if you would like to continue receiving blow jobs, a 25% increase in fuck-giving will be expected immediately, and you're expected to give an actual flying fuck at least once a week. Brought to you by the ad council.
a 6'8" white kid in a Lin jersey just wandered out of my gay kid brother's room. when does spring break end, again?
Dude, for twins they have shockingly different blowjob styles.
STOP FUCKING MY SISTERS!!!!
to answer your questions bluetooth, 30ft, like a tampon, ask her, her idea, got tired of trying to find her in crowed clubs
I shall relish in being the most basic of bitches
So I just saw someone get shoved into a car trunk by your car.
I just got a text from a stranger offering to shave my asshole. I've been sober and out of town for a week, are you using my number as a dial-a-dumping again?
how the FUCK did i spend 25 dollars at 50 cent beer night?
If the amount of time the owner spent looking at my tits is any indication, I’d say I can probably sleep my way to the top
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