i was more sad about losing him as neighbor on fishville than as a boyfriend
Gentleman, we have a new medal category - number of women per day in apartment WITHOUT FURNITURE
Just got a hand job during Charlie St.cloud I honestly never thought Id thank Zac Efron fir one of his movies but thank you
I'm a 23 year old virgin. I've masturbated in ways you can't even imagine.
The cab driver was nice enough to let you finish your beer in the car, but you crossed the line when you started to pee in the empty bottle
Delete that photo of me. My ass looks WAY to good it in to be on Facebook for everyone to see. You gotta earn that shit.
Also, I just realized you seduced me while in a batman onesie... Well done, sir. Well done.
like i literally can feel my uterus getting frustrated at me for not being pregnant.
I'm turning into an adult here.
Adults touch each other's special zones.
Actually, lets be honest. I will probably keep calling him the pastor because it brings me joy using pastor and fuck buddy in the same sentence.
I just realized that you're going to be drunk for daylight savings time again. Godspeed.
She was wearing a grass skirt and a watermelon bra. WATERMELONS.
My hook-up from last week somehow found me at the club, saw the girl I was trying to fuck, kissed me right in front of her, and walked off.
I've had way too many dicks in my mouth the past two weeks. Ready to go back to school and be a doctor now
dude me and this dog are gonna go bond oon the tramplene with stromboli... i think everyone is staring at me... being this high is SO stressful
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