Seriously, I'd take them all over any of the milfs here...and you know how much that means coming from me
Hi Jason, it's Liz. We dont need you to pick us up anymore. I dont care if you will be here in a milisecond. And you should know im wearing really amazing shoes.
I'm at the laundry mat. This guy is here showing me his ankle monitor. The weird ones always find me.
So about class tomorrow..... i,ll be there. But I may be still a bit drink and wearing a suit. I'll explain when I get there.
I hit 10,000 texts this month.. I think my grandkids have carpal tunnel.
It's never good when you wake up covered with burns
You were passed out on the chair and when I asked you if you were okay you looked up and said "I'm fine, I was just pretending for a picture" then passed out again.
he told me i smelled like babies and pine needles and he wanted to bathe with me. new boyfriend is not a keeper
I bet it kind of sucks while you do community service I'm getting blown in the shower. haha
Member that time when we got super drunk and had fun and fell in love
I remember it like it was tomorrow.
I woke up with a pinecone in my hair. A full pine cone.
You got called a pussy at a party with a slow cooker, you can't let that shit slide
Please warn me if you ever end up in porn, cause I don't want to stumble across that on accident, okay?
Why were you doing tequila shots out of Boston Pizza dip containers?
OMFG. JUST WALKED IN ON A DUDE JERKING IT IN THE MCDONALDS BATHROOM
Stall or urinal?
Randomize
