we're blogging at a bar
I'm a simple man, with a social life most psychopaths would cringe at
Did you see that girl I got with last night?
Girl? Oh...weird...to be honest Ive always thought you were gay..
I finally had kitchen counter sex! i was so excited
I cant date a girl that sucks dick at sucking dick
Did we use protection last night?
Um, no...keep in touch, okay?
my mom just found my flavored lube in the basement. she gave me a lecture about how "giving head is degrading" omg i feel sooooo bad for my dad
I gained confidence after I found out she was a lesbian. At least that way I could flirt with her and convince her to buy me taco bell after the bar
Im so tired of dysfunctional exs fucking up my relationships with future dysfunctional exs
Apparently I tried to convince him to sleep with me by showing him that I could do dips....
I like to think of you as more a magic eight ball of my life's journey?
Tip: never mention Guy Fieri during sex
It's volleyball. Just do it. You want to look sporty. Save sexy librarian for another day.
my gynecologist gave me a high 5 for not getting any STD's since my last visit and said "Way to go Annabeth!" you have twenty seconds to get to my level
no dude he sent me cemetery flowers, i know it. they are half dried out roses in the shape of a cross, seriously. and he is not religious. so he robbed a freaking grave site for me. am i like an accessory to grave robbing now??
damnit this is what you get for dating guys with neck tattoos
Randomize
