i just thanked the atm machine for giving me cash
just went onto Yahoo and the featured article had a picture of one of the Jonas brothers. last two times the featured article was a celebrity's face the headline was "Michael Jackson is Dead" and "Pitchman Billy Mays is Dead" so naturally I got a little excited. Turns out he's just engaged. Who gives a fuck.
she just uttered the sweetest sentence in the english language...my stripper friends are coming over
so apparently mom and dad slept together on the first date
i guess it runs in the family.
He just called me juicy booty via text message.
my roommate just showed me the scar on her forehead... that she got from a shake weight... That. just. happened.
the thing I didn't realize I would miss about college is that at home you can't just dismiss your sex bruises as drunk accidents
E drugging s springing. Ease dnt Kate. To t e. ess e I meant thou.
I could really do without pictures of your asses in my inbox. That said, I'm extremely jealous that I wasn't involved.
Jameson and I invented street rugby last night. Yeah
Walked back to my room from the bus last night and all I see is 3 of my friends on the porch chugging whiskey and then throwing up in unison
I'm gonna make some noodles and go to bed. Hopefully I don't fall into the stove or something.
I will feed you tacos. I will touch your butt. Happy Valentine's Day ❤️
I opened the bathroom door and the starting point gaurd was eating out my art history professor
Last time I had a one night stand he ended up stalking me for two months.
So you're not picking up this weekend?
This weekend, I am Angela, visiting from Calgary. We'll have to roleplay this.
Randomize
