we got back to my place and he started talking about feelings. i politely told him to leave and that he managed to cock block himself.
her nose should be used as a dorsal fin
I told him that he is like a snow storm I never know when he is coming, how many inches I will get, or how long it will last
Watching a deaf couple have an argument in the mall. Can't bring myself to look away.
He left an unopened 12 pack of beer by my bed. I guess that's his way of saying thanks for the sex..
I think I should just go up to him and say, "before I invest time in this could I just take a look at your penis?"
His foreplay reminded me too much of breastfeeding.
I miss waking up knowing you're passed out under my bed.
Listen I know you hate her for what she did but this is getting our of hand. Please please tell me where you hid her wedding dress.
We're both great liars, in committed relationships, and horny. Its the perfect storm of cheating
I tried to find the bar, ended up at a car dealership. Then the alarms went off.
Hey, it's Valentine's Day weekend and were single and off our periods. Let's live like queens.
I just watched my mom pour beer into her vodka and drink it.
So I'm trying to figure out how to talk my boss into allowing pajama day once a week. Any ideas?
Just filed for child support I hope he gets the paperwork on Father's Day
Randomize
